im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
