So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
