just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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