The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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