I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
