i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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