The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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