We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
