fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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