if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
