If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
