Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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