just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You need a sexual gate keeper
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
