Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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