smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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