And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If I die, sorry about rent.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
