ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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