Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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