Pappa wants mamma naked
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he high fived his dick after we had sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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