What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
