You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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