i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
