At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
