Can Purell be used as lube?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
