**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
