That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize