Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
