It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
