last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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