Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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