nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Your cock deserves a montage
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
