mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize