I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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