U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
