and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
