That's intense
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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