Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
