like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
