Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
operation have a gay friend backfired
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize