woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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