Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
