did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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