I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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