like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
