Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
