So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
