im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
