One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
