At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
