yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
