Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
