...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize