We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
