On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
