I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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