You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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