Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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