would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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