You're my little dorito
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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