Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
