why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize