The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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