I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
